why am i so passionate about birth?

let me explain.

I was 18 when I had my first son. And as you can imagine, I was not prepared. I hated being pregnant. My “morning sickness” was never just in the morning and it didnt get better second trimester. My body hurt. I was miserable.

At my 36 week check up, my doctor told me that my baby was already 8lbs (because we all know how accurate ultrasounds at that stage are… not...)
At my 38 week check up, my doctor said my blood pressure was high, and me and my baby were at risk of dying and he since he was big and “wasn’t going to fit” anyways, I should have a c-section.
And for that 18 year old girl, that was already terrified of labor and birth… I said cool, lets do it.

My doctor told me to come back at 5pm (so he could finish his work day of course) so thats what I did.
I had no idea that that decision would effect all of my future births. I didnt even know I had the option of saying no… I just thought thats what I had to do.
My son was born at 7lbs 14oz. Two weeks after they told me he was already 8lbs and wouldn’t fit (ginormous eye roll)

A couple years later, when I was pregnant again- I was determined to do things differently. And I went and got all of my records from that doctors office. My blood pressure was slightly elevated (for me) at that appointment, but no where near warranting a c-section same day.

For my second pregnancy - I went a little rouge.

I have a lot of experience and knowledge when it comes to birth options and I will talk to you about whatever you’re interested in and support you in your decision. Period.

home birth, brith center, scheduled c-section, hospital birth, induction, medicated, unmedicated, free birth… I got you.

ROUND 2

I found out I was pregnant again soon after my son turned 2. And by then I had done a lot of research about VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) and knew that was the route I wanted to go.
At that time, midwives were not able to do VBACs in Alaska, so I was going to need to pick a doctor and attempt in a VBAC in hospital.

Now, let me stop and say… I have since attended beautiful successful VBACs in hospitals so it is possible! But 13 years ago… that wasn’t as common.

I didn’t trust any doctors and the last place I wanted to be was in a hospital. So I opted for a home brith (aka HBAC.) And since midwives couldn’t legally attend HBACs… I found an experienced, out of state midwife and flew her up for my birth. Technically we had to say the birth was unassisted. So that is what we did.

And nearly 3 years later, after my doctor telling me that my 8lb baby wouldn’t fit (& 55 hours of labor)… I fucking did it. I gave birth to a 9lb baby in my living room.

It was hands down, the hardest thing I have ever done in my life AND the most empowering. And after experiencing two extreme briths, and attending so many over the years, I have learned a lot.

I have learned that truly, it doesnt matter WHERE or HOW you deliver, what matters is that you are educated in your options, feel in charge over your body and empowered by the decisions you make.

I am not anti-cesarean. Sometimes a cesarean is needed, and we are so thankful for western medicine when that happens.
I am not anti-doctor. Sometimes doctors are wonderful care providers, and listen to their patients and respect their wishes.
I am not anti- hospital. I have attended some beautiful, empowering briths in a hospital.
I am not anti-home birth. I have witnessed beautiful & safe births at home.
I am not anti-midwife. I have worked with many many incredible, educated midwives.
I am not anti-birth center. I think this is a fantastic option for low risk deliveries and people who want a little less medical feel.

Birth is not black and white. It’s not one size fits all. And you get to choose what feels best for you.

I think the most important thing is trusting your team of providers, learning your options, having a doula to support and advocate if needed.