WM//BE

LET'S GET WEIRD.

WOLFmother is so much more than birth education. It’s empowerment that will last the rest of your life. But to access this new version of you, we want you to get weird with us. We want you to shake and yell and stomp and sing. To welcome new ideas and people into life. We want you to gnaw possibility down to the bone and savor every bite!

Life doesn’t have to look anything like it did before. You are a WOLFmother. Let’s walk through the door, together.

Welcome to WOLFmother. You’re clearly already a badass mother who is ready to shed old beliefs and embrace a more empowered path through pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. So let us introduce ourselves:

While your body is doing an incredible job of nourishing your baby, let’s focus on how your body is being nourished. Not just the food you enjoy, but the ways you move your body, the things you say to it, and the rest you allow it to have.

Shit is about to get weird. Not only are your hormones making you feel like you’re 13 again, but your whole sense of who you are and how you handle life is going through a transformation. No wonder our mental health needs extra support!

No matter where you plan to give birth, finding a provider that is the best fit for you is an important part of creating your den. Below is a list of questions to consider asking your provider to get a better sense of what you can expect in their care. Don’t feel like you need to ask them all. Focus on the ones that feel the most resonate for what matters to you. And remember, you’re choosing them - they’re not choosing you.

Did you know that you were present inside your grandmother, when she was pregnant with your mom? Baby girls are born with all the eggs that will create any children they birth, so you were there - in egg form and along for the ride of your grandmother's pregnancy and your mother's life.

What does this have to do with the baby you're growing and the birth you're about to experience?

EVERYTHING!

Let’s talk about some of the normal physical and emotional changes your body might go through in this pregnancy. This is not an exhaustive list, nor is it meant to be. The goal is to have you feeling curious about what changes you’re noticing for your body and your pregnancy.

As you start to think forward, take the time to feel inward. Understanding the spaces and people the help you feel the most safe, protected, and secure.

Your den is important. And the people you choose to walk alongside you through this transition (your denmates) make all the difference- so let's talk about it.

While your body is doing an incredible job of nourishing your baby, let’s focus on how your body is being nourished.
Not just the food you enjoy, but the ways you move your body, the things you say to it, and the rest you allow it to have.

It’s not easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive. Anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender can be a victim of domestic violence.

Creating a birth plan is something that is only as important as you decide it is. Some people give it a lot of weight, appreciating a sense of structure and that their wishes have been expressed. Others see it as a starting off point to continue the discussion later. And some create a birth plan because it feels like something to cross off their to-do list before birth.

Let’s get it on! One of the most common never asked questions is about sex.
People feel shy, awkward, or like they should be experts. Sex during pregnancy can feel like a whole new landscape to navigate. Hormones, changing sex drives, positional worries, and concerns for baby bring new challenges.

4 important questions…

Why the fuck should I do this?

Why should I not do that fucking thing?

What else can I do?

Wait a fucking minute…

Practice vs productive.

MYTH: there is real labor and false labor. Instead think of your early contractions as practice labor or productive labor. Both are helpful, just in different ways. Let’s talk about some of the markers for practice labor as well as productive, birth labor, so you can more easily tell the difference.

While your body is doing an incredible job of nourishing your baby, let’s focus on how your body is being nourished. Not just the food you enjoy, but the ways you move your body, the things you say to it, and the rest you allow it to have.

There are things you can do to improve the chances of having your baby lie in an occiput anterior position. The back of your baby’s head and their back are the heaviest body parts. By keeping your body posture in an upright or slightly forward position, you can, with the assistance of gravity, help keep those heaviest parts of your baby pointing down, facing your back, with your baby’s back on either side of your belly button... in the optimal fetal position.

If birth is a ceremony, how do you want to prepare? The answer to this question is different for everyone. Most importantly we want you to know that your ceremony doesn’t have to look like anything you’ve seen before. Trust your gut and create whatever feels right for you. Below are some suggestions to consider as you gather in the den and prepare!

Here’s some homework for you, WolfMother. Let’s do some practice for labor. The Ice Challenge is an opportunity to try experiencing a sensation that is very uncomfortable, but not harmful - much like your labor contractions will be.

Every baby needs a different path into the world. We trust that, however your birth unfolds, it makes sense in ways that we may never understand. Here are some general signposts to look for in your labor, with the knowledge that your path is your own. You’ve got this, WolfMother!

You can basically have a baby in any position.

Ok, not ANY… but a lot.

And we have a handy handout with ideas for you to try!

Practice labor?

Back labor?

Slow labor?

Fast labor?

We got you!

The reality is that things rarely go quite as we planned. And due dates are at the top of that list. We’d love for you to think of your due date as something with the accuracy of a dart thrown at a dartboard. Sometimes it might be spot on! But most of the time, its vaguely in the area. Here’s some interesting info to consider:

While your body is doing an incredible job of nourishing your baby, let’s focus on how your body is being nourished. Not just the food you enjoy, but the ways you move your body, the things you say to it, and the rest you allow it to have.

Welcome to your postpartum den. Hopefully you’ve created a safe, cozy space to enjoy your early postpartum days, with the right people in place so you feel supported. Below is our ideal postpartum schedule. We understand that everyone will find their own best flow for postpartum, considering family, work, support, and finances. Making yourself and your healing a priority will have long lasting benefits for everyone.

Like all transitions in life, when we say hello to a new version of ourselves, we are saying goodbye to who we used to be at the same time. Letting your mental health be part of the postpartum conversation is a goddamn revolution! It’s okay to not be okay, WOLFmother. Phases shift more easily when they’re acknowledged. There is space for all of you.

Boundaries are easy in theory and can be so tough in practice. Not only can it be challenging to decide what the boundary is that you need to set, but then the sometimes monumental task comes when you need to uphold them. It’s why we often avoid setting necessary boundaries for ourselves, or let them fade once we do.

Then you become a mother.

Okay, let’s get one thing straight:

The goal is to have you and your baby thriving. We acknowledge that you are the only one that is the expert in yourself and your baby.

Is this all we ever talk about? Making sure you get good sleep and stay well hydrated? Pretty much yes. And the reason that we will bang the drum about sleep all day, every day, is that once sleep starts to go - everything else tends to follow. Sleep is one of the major catalysts to a healthy, empowered postpartum.

You did the heavy lifting in early pregnancy to find a provider that you really resonated with. Now that you’re postpartum it’s time to do that work again. Ideally you are starting this search in your pregnancy, finding a pediatrician you resonate with. Let’s go through the providers you’ll want to have in place for your new phase of life.

Let’s look out a little further into your postpartum and the nourishment you’ll need in the first year. We’ve set down the idea of a “bounce back” and instead acknowledge that you are fundamentally changed by the birth of your child. Let’s embrace the woman you’ve become and discover what she needed to feel nourished.

Baby wearing is a lifesaver and helps everyone to feel like they’re thriving, especially the first year postpartum. Look into local resources such as baby wearing instructors or baby wearing groups. Online groups can be a big help as you navigate the sometimes daunting world of wraps, slings, and soft structured carriers. Connect with others in the baby wearing community and build your den even further!

Let’s talk about your first year of motherhood and the den you’re creating for that phase. Immediately postpartum we talked about the physical space and who was joining you in it. But looking forward over your first year, we’re broadening the den to include transitioning out to the world and going back to work.

Birth is not the first time you’ve gone through a major transition in life. But the birth of this baby may be the first time you’ve navigated a transition with intent. We can often feel like we’re at the whim of major shifts in life. Just trying to hold on until the dust settles and we see what the new landscape looks like.